“But by the Grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me,”
1 Corinthians 15:10
I believe I am here right now, this very moment, writing this blog entry because God made a way. I have had a couple of emotionally draining weeks within the month of July and it is only by the Grace of God that I am able to put words to paper with this post and I pray this entry meets each and every one of us at our point of need.
As I went through what looked like a mental breakdown, I kept telling myself, “By the Grace of God you will get through this.” However, those were just mere words as I was doubting God yet claiming to believe that His Grace will see me through my trying time. In Proverbs 23:7 the word of God states “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he,” however my thoughts and my proclamations didn’t align with each other. I was telling myself one thing while my heart believed another.
In my hour of need I failed to see God as a friend and my ever present help; In my mind I selfishly saw him as a “fairy godmother” that will grant all my wishes because why not he is God and he can do anything. I talked myself out of a peaceful mind and let fear and worry cloud my judgement. We blame the devil for most of the negative things we are going through but often times than not, we are the reason behind our pain. I moped around and shut people out instead of walking by faith.
I tried praying on several occasions but mid-prayer I would begin to doubt my own prayer. I would start all over again and the routine continued, then I began to repeat the same prayers hoping that I would get what I wanted from God. From the beginning of July to close to the last week of July, I crafted selfish ways of praying yet foolishly saying “it will happen by His Grace.” The last straw was when I started laying down on my bed to pray simply because at that point I had lost the drive to go on my knees and pray. Believe me when I tell you, laying down to pray is not the best idea because halfway through my prayers I was already fast asleep.
I was encouraging others about how our ability to do things and excel was not by our might but by the Grace of God yet I doubted that for myself. I became that individual that James was referring to in James 1:6-8, a double minded person that asked yet doubted that I will receive. I was before the throne of God in prayer yet I did not believe.
Fast Forward to July 28, 2016, after several weeks of an emotional roller-coaster, it felt as though God gave me a hug. I was completely at peace with myself and the negative thoughts that clouded my mind from the past weeks began to go away. I decided to pray because I knew it was God reminding me that he never left even when I thought he was not listening. It was after praying that I decided that I will not let my pain and issues take me away from God’s amazing presence. As I was reading through the book of James, a couple of verses stood out to me, James 1:22-24, we are encouraged in these verses to not just be hearers of the word but also doers because if we do one without the other we would only be deceiving ourselves.
We all go through tough situations no matter where we are in our walk with Christ but it is very important to understand that we can always go to God in prayer, laying down our burdens at his feet and God’s peace will dwell within us as we give it all to him (Philippians 4:6-7).
For our sake Christ died on the cross so why let the worries of this world take away the peace that was freely given to us.
I felt led to share this with each and everyone of you because the sharing of good reports (testimony) edifies the body of Christ.
Daniel 4:2, I thought it good to declare the signs and wonders that the Most High God has worked for me.
Dear Friends in the Lord, do not fret as the Lord has it all figured out. He will cause everything to work together for your good (Romans 8:28). He will make a way even when the situation looks hopeless; he is God and therefore if it is according to his will and purpose for your life, he will definitely make it happen. I have given it all to God and I pray you do the same too, I am not completely where I want to be but I know I can trust his plans for me.
Stay encouraged and don’t let yourself lose sight of who God is.
Here is a song that encouraged me as I prayed for myself and my situation: YouTube
Anna Sylva is currently majoring in international studies with emphasis on development. She is a firm believer that we are God's hands and feet; and through us the world will get to experience Christ and his amazing love. It is her dream to use both her career and gift of writing as a platform to reach people from all over the world for Christ.