Valentine's Day Dilemma: Single But Not Complete

Hello there, I’m super glad you stopped by to read this post.  As we all know its Valentine’s Day soon and if you come from the part of the world that I’m from, it’s a much “hyped” season. Usually people tend to show love the best way they can, to that special person, and for the single ones, well they just stay and try to encourage themselves, watching and hoping that they get the right person soon.

I have been single for a while now so I guess I can be classified in the single category and I know I’m not alone in this category.  The world just seems to be interested in us. It seems like it’s some sort of achievement to be in a relationship.  Can you relate to this?  It’s like everybody is in one, so what’s wrong with you? It almost feels like one isn’t complete until they are in a relationship and married; it even feels like the world respects married couples more and place better value on them.

I am not in any way condemning the institution of marriage; I believe that it is a marvelous thing to be married.  Even God wants us to be happily married and it is His original plan for us, “…Be fruitful and multiply...” He said in (Gen 1:28) but before you rush out of being single, I think they are some basics you and I need to understand.

To begin with, we need to constantly question our actions.  “Why am I doing this?” As Myles Munroe said, “When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” Relationships and marriage weren’t created just to make you feel satisfied, or less lonely, or any of that stuff.  God didn’t create it for you to check in and out at will; it’s a very important aspect of our lives and that’s why we must be serious about it.

I understand that we all have our different reasons for whatever our relationship status is.  At the same time, what I’m trying to point out is that we should do it for the right reasons.  Today people get into relationships due to pressure from friends or family; for some, it’s just to feel like a part of society and others, they feel it helps them deal with loneliness and depression (at least you have someone to share your struggles with).

It’s good for us to note that even staying single might be for the wrong reason, especially for people who feel relationships and marriage is an extra burden and would prefer to stay single, while having a baby and staying focused on their career (seems like less stress right?).

As believers, however, we have to be smarter.  We need to recognize that there are two systems here: there’s the world system and then there is the Kingdom system.  The world system is the one that says it’s okay to have sex without being married; it’s okay to stay single, get a kid, and be that successful woman.  The Kingdom is the complete opposite of the world system; we have our bible and we live based on the principles of the Word.

The bible specifically instructs us in Romans 12:2 not be conformed to this world; you need not to feel less special because you are single or be intimidated by anyone.  The last time I checked, we are complete in Christ (Col 2:10), not based on our marital, career or financial status.  We have to get to that point where we aren’t dependent upon decisions based on what people think about us or what every other person is doing.

Once we understand this purpose it’s easy for us to restructure our mind back to Christ.  Nobody should steal your joy because you are single.  Trust me, age is just a number.  Think of it this way, being single gives you an added advantage because now you can carefully and prayerfully choose a partner and start the right way with God to avoid a messy future.

It’s very imperative that we know and remind ourselves who we are and stay focused.  Remember I am, you are, we all are “…fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are [His] works, and that my soul knows very well” (Ps 139:14). Eventually, getting into a relationship shouldn’t be based on what people think about you, but instead on what the Word says.  When you do things God’s way, you get the best results.

Now is the time to pray and focus on improving yourself, a wise man once said, “You attract your own kind, you attract who you are.” You want that good looking, smart and Spirit filled partner, why not spend time now being all that yourself. Read books, take classes, get better, and improve on yourself.

I’m certain that it won’t be long, do not be depressed or discouraged because you don’t have a partner in your life yet and don’t settle for less.  When it finally happens, it will be like a dream (Ps 126:1), and your story will be an inspiration to other younger believers going through the same thing.  Even the bible tells us there are benefits of being single (1 Cor. 7:34), but whatever situation we find ourselves in, make Jesus the center of everything in your life and watch your life blossom and prosper.

#Excited #SingleandJoyful #SingleWithAPurpose #SingleWithADifference



My name is Fadairo Oluwapelumi, and I will be 21 on the 21st of January 2016, I am a Nigerian and I live in Abuja, Nigeria. Some of my hobbies include writing, reading, singing and traveling. I am a Born- again Christian and I am crazy about God because in my little mess He still loved me and accepted me as His own.