How To Be Sexually Pure

“By the mercies of God, present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God”

Romans 12:1-2

Almost 6 years ago, I decided to make the choice to be celibate. I no longer wanted to engage in "just sex" relations. However as time wore on, I began strengthening my relationship with the Lord, and celibacy became more about submitting to God and letting go of sin. For some, I know this is not an easy step to take. But don’t despair; for we know the Word tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

As my love for the Lord has deepened, my spirit is compelled to please Him and live for Him. I understand now that God designed sex for marriage, between a man and a woman, and this is when it is most beautifully and purposefully expressed. Do I have sexual desires sometimes and even think about sex? Yes. I'm human. But I have placed God first. There is nothing you can’t conquer through the Lord Jesus Christ. His grace is sufficient in our weaknesses, and although we may struggle in the flesh, there is always hope. We must also abandon a faulty belief that we cannot be happy if we are not married or enjoying sex. Your joy is not dependent upon any of these things.

According to 1 Corinthians 6:13-14, we must understand, the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise us up by His own power. Verses 18-20 continue, Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? We have become living sacrifices unto the Lord, and thus we belong to Him. We know God is Holy, and therefore, He exhorts us to be the same (1 Peter 1:16).

In today’s culture, so much we see and hear goes against sexual purity and morality. This can surely make it challenging to obey God’s command. But we must stand firm and let the spirit rule over the flesh. It also helps to keep us from environments or circumstances that might tempt us or defile our thoughts – such as nightclubs, wild parties, sex stores, etc. What we allow to enter our eyes and ears is also critical – as TV shows, music videos, pornographic material, and the like – can easily stir up thoughts & emotions that can cause us to stumble. If you are currently in a relationship, be mindful of certain things that can potentially open the door to lust and lead to sin.

It is not edifying to walk around your companion in your undergarments/lingerie, watch explicit material together, text enticing pictures/messages to one another, touch/caress in a sexual manner, or even spend the night in the same bed. It may not even be a good idea to take romantic trips alone, but that would be a matter for you to pray on and exercise godly wisdom. The best partner to have while unmarried is one who will pray and uplift you both to help keep you both on a clean, spiritual walk. If you were indeed to stumble in your purity walk, do not condemn yourself. Confess it unto God, repent, and keep moving forward. If you are struggling to stay pure, the key to victory is delivery from any demonic strongholds of lust (more below), in addition to sincerely engaging in the things that will draw you closer to God. This includes a lifestyle of prayer, Bible studying, fasting, worship, fellowship with godly people, etc. This was the only way I finally overcame masturbation. I had to get to a place where I love Christ more than my flesh. You can surely get there too.

It also helps when you engage yourself in positive activities and concentrate your focus on things such as spending time with family, working on a project or hobby, attending fun or educational social events, and so on. Thus, when you are committed to sexual purity, the benefits include:

-Protection from heartache, confusion, STDs/HIV, and ungodly soul ties. How many women have fell for a guy, slept with him, and not much later realized he's only around for sex or does not want to commit to a serious exclusive relationship? That is a very common way women get hurt or disappointed. Abstaining from intimacy enables you as a woman to better discern his true motives and intentions. And that's a GREAT thing. 

-You place yourself in a position to grow closer to God. The closer you are to God, the more equipped you are to fulfill His divine will for your life, and the more empowered you are to attain godly success. Your faith will grow as well, as this is important to have when adversity and tribulations enter your life.

- You are able to be used most effectively by God when you are consecrated unto Him, and are also better able to hear from God if you are not indulging in sin. This enables you to operate best from His wisdom, which is very essential in navigating the seas of life. Moreover, we refrain from grieving the Holy Spirit when we commit to sexual purity.

Sexual immorality is certainly a way to open demonic portals, which give ungodly spirits of lust an open door to gain access to you. This usually happens by either a sin you committed, or that someone else committed. These demonic spirits can attack you in your dreams, in which you see yourself partaking in explicit sexual activity. I have had this experience (by the Incubus spirit, which indulges in sexual acts with women while sleep; for men it is the Succubus spirit. Both are secular names for sex or night demons).

These dreams are an attempt by Satan to weaken and pervert your faith. God will not send you a dream where you are engaging in sinful sexual activity. You must rebuke and cast out such spirits in the name of Jesus and command them to leave. Do not replay the dream or repeat it (unless you absolutely have to). Keep in mind that lustful spirits can enter your life through any of these open doors:

-Masturbation

-Sexual abuse

-Reading/watching pornography

-Internet sex

-Fornication/unbroken soul ties

-Movies/TV shows

-Texting graphic messages/photos

-Demons that have been operating in your bloodline for generations

-People around you that are engaging in sexual sin

-Lack of prayer

-Un-forgiveness/bitterness

-Fear

-Witchcraft

-Emotional wounds

-Spending too much time on activities that are not necessarily sinful, but not spiritually edifying

If you are living with unmarried persons who you know are sexually active in your home, the same demonic spirits of lust that have entered their life, now have access to you as well. The spirits aren’t guaranteed to attack you, but they certainly could. An attack is when you find yourself overcome by strong sexual urges & thoughts without warning or any external stimuli. The problem is, you can’t successfully command these spirits to leave if that person is continuing with their sexual sin in the home. In such a scenario, this is where you would have to utilize godly wisdom in deciding the best step for you to take regarding your living arrangements.

Unless you are gifted to walk in singleness such as the Apostle Paul, your body should be reserved for the wife or husband God has in store for you. I have boldly prayed for God to personally select the spouse who is the best match for me. Matthew 7:7-8 tells us if we ask we will receive. I desire for God to hand pick my partner, and I believe it’s okay for you to desire the same. Out of billions of people on the earth, He knows who is best suited as a mate and who’s open to receiving you. But this also means you must operate in patience and in God’s timing, as the Bible tells us in Psalm 27:14 to Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait I say, on the LORD. So, have a great attitude along the way, and trust Him! It is also important, that you do NOT idolize or envy other people’s relationships. You are not in competition with anyone.

When it all boils down – dying to self, picking up your cross, and submitting to God is ultimately your choice. There are many single people who profess to be Christians, yet they are sexually active. If this is you, this is rebellious – and you have to stop and repent. 1 Corinthians 6:9 tells us, that fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God. If you are currently in a relationship and decide to end sexual activity with your partner, they will do either two things: leave or stay.

If they decided to leave, then they are not the one for you! It might hurt, but your soul is worth far more. You will never lose putting Christ before man! If you do embark on celibacy, pray for strength and peace to persevere. If you are a pregnant single woman reading this, do not give in to guilt or condemnation. Ask for forgiveness (of the sin, not for conceiving the child), and choose a path of purity during and after pregnancy. This is surely God’s will for you and all of us. [Note: Let’s not judge anyone who has engaged in or is committing sexual sin. Pray rather than judge.]

I can truly say, that I am thankful for this journey, and am so glad that I have not let impatience or intimate desires get the best of me. There is nothing too hard for your Creator to handle – your sexuality, your desires, your flesh struggles, scars from past sexual abuse, NOTHING! The question is, do you trust Him enough to help you deal with or overcome these things? I pray you do~

Deliverance and Renunciation of Sexual Sins:

Below are a group of prayers that you can pray out loud to set yourself free if you are in any kind of sexual bondage, or under attack in spiritual warfare. For some it may take some time and effort to get complete deliverance. But do not give up. Keep warring in the spirit until you see your breakthrough. Remember, you must renew your mind with the mind of Christ after being set free. Don’t go without praying, fasting, hearing the Word, etc!. From John Eckhardt’s book, ‘Prayers that Rout Demons’:

  • I renounce all sexual sin that I have been involved with in the past, including fornication, masturbation, pornography, perversion, fantasy, and adultery in the name of Jesus.
  • I break all curses of adultery, perversion, fornication, lust, incest, rape, molestation, illegitimacy, harlotry, and polygamy in the name of Jesus.
  • I command all spirits of lust and perversion to come out of my stomach, genitals, eyes, mind, mouth, hands, and blood in the name of Jesus.
  • I present my body to the Lord as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1).
  • My members are the members of Christ. I will not let them be the members of a harlot (1 Corinthians 6:15).
  • I release the fire of God to burn out all unclean lust from my life in the name of Jesus.
  • I break all ungodly soul ties with former lovers and sexual partners in the name of Jesus.
  • I cast out all spirits of loneliness that would drive me to ungodly sexual relationships in the name of Jesus.
  • I command all spirits of hereditary lusts from my ancestors to come out in the name of Jesus.
  • I command all spirits of witchcraft that work with lust to leave in the name of Jesus.
  • I take authority over my thoughts and bind all spirits of fantasy and lustful thinking in the name of Jesus.
  • I cast out all marriage-breaking spirits of lust that would break covenant in the name of Jesus.
  • I cast out and loose myself from any spirit spouses and spirits of incubus and succubus in the name of Jesus.
  • I cast out all spirits of perversion, including Moabite and Ammonite spirits of lust, in the name of Jesus.
  • I receive the spirit of holiness in my life to walk in sexual purity in the name of Jesus (Romans 1:4).
  • I loose myself from the spirit of the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.
  • I overcome the world through the power of the Holy Spirit (1 John 2:16).
  • I am crucified with Christ. I mortify my members. I do not let sin reign in my body, and I will not obey its lust (Romans 6:6–12).

 

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Crystal hails from Atlanta, GA. She holds a BA in Communications from the University of Alabama-Birmingham. She's a budding artist & designer, and aspires to inspire people to discover & experience the transformative power of Christ. She enjoys intellectual discourse, singing, the arts, learning, serving, cooking, and helping people fulfill their divine potential through God.