I often find myself asking God, why can't more women be content with being single? Why are so-called "Christians" advocating for the secular life and not a life in Christ? The whole "sow all your wild oats while you can" is very much overrated. I can say that because I have been down that road and trust me when I say, "sowing your wild oats" is nothing "fun" at all.
For the past three years I have been happily single and embracing the fact that God has someone for me, but until I can meet Him I am spending this time of singleness with God. I often joke that I'm still dreaming and I'm going to wake up with a hungry husband and hyperactive children running all over the house. So until then, I am enjoying this peace of happiness with the Lord. Are there times I wish I were in a relationship? Of course!
I have friends in relationships; several people who I went to high school are married/or getting married and having children. There are times where it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, wondering am I not smart enough, pretty enough, or outgoing enough to be in a relationship? I have to revert that thought into the positives, in thinking I am an educated black woman; I am beautiful and I have the personality that the Lord thought is suitable for me to have. How dare I even take the special qualities given to me and demean them like they are not worthy for God?!
A lot of us questions God more than praise Him.
Why am I not in a relationship Lord? Why can't I keep a man Lord?
Instead of complaining, thank the Lord for this season. Instead of complaining about a broken relationship, thank the Lord for removing that thorn. This is the season where you can truly focus on God and do what you want (as long as it is lined up with the will of God) before marriage. You can travel abroad, go on a road trip across the continental USA, go to different single events, try new foods, learn how to cook your signature meal, etc. There's so much you can do instead of wasting it on complaining.
Matthew 6:33 tells us to "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything you ask for will be added unto you.” Seeking the Lord is something singles take for granted and will not do until we want something. As single women/men, seeking God should be as easy as breathing; we have no excuse because we have the time. Do you hold your breath in all day (I hope not), so why do we hold back from God? I am adding myself to this equation because I will not sit here and pretend that I have it all together when I do not.
I will falsely be making my life seem peachy when it is just the opposite; I am probably just as messed up as you are. However, I do make a conscious effort of praying and seeking the Lord in reading my Bible. I have already prayed for my husband and I often ask God to protect Him wherever he may be (not every night). At the moment, I am married to Jesus and I love it! There is no way I can write this without telling you where I am in my single life. Being single teaches me what I need to work on and where I am still struggling and fix before my husband comes into the picture.
My walk in Christ grows stronger everyday. Am I perfect? By no means. The perfect example of a person being single and loving it is Jesus Christ Himself. He did not have time to settle down and marry like the rest of us because He had a mission that He had to do, save us. I am no longer ashamed to say that I was a sinner, but through the blood of Christ was I cleanse and made whole again. So for any of you that are on the fence about enjoying single life, take it from me that when you have Christ He is all you need. Eventually He will let that man or woman He wants to cut in from the dance for a while.
My name is Denisha Rue and I was born and raised in Detroit, MI. I gave my life to Christ in 2007 when I was 16 years old but I didn't truly surrender my life until 2013. Jesus has truly saved me from a life of rebellion I love Christ and my life has radically changed when I said yes to the calling. I enjoy coffee, contemporary Christian music, reading and writing.