Christian Singles: Don't Settle

“The problem was she wanted to be loved so badly, she couldn’t tell it wasn’t love.”

- Leo Christopher

Love, we all seek it, we all yearn for it, but what love are we settling for?

I’ve always seen the posts of “The next person I date will be the one I marry” or “The next person I date will be the person I spend forever with.” Forever? Marriage? Now don’t think I am being a pessimist because I’m not. Just listen to me for a second. With words being spoken we are bringing life to something that hasn’t even entered into our lives yet. I hope you meet the person of your dreams and that is the next person you date and you get your fairy tale ending, but what if that person isn’t? What if they aren’t a reflection of what love really is? What if you settle for “love” that really isn’t love at all?

Love isn’t someone buying you makeup, football game tickets, or a physical embrace. Love isn’t a lot of things that the world today likes to define it as. The perfect definitions of love are found in the scriptures. The verses that you probably see the most about love are in 1 Corinthians 13.

“ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. “ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

We tend to not even look at the characteristics of love when it comes to the person we could be spending forever with. We ignore the fruits of their lives and settle for a mediocre love instead of a love that is strong and constant. Please, do not settle. I have to remind myself constantly. 

Yes, I can love someone, but also yes they could be wrong for me (maybe wrong altogether or maybe just wrong at this time). You can’t change someone. No matter how much you love them they will stay the same because they haven’t encountered the Father yet and you can’t counterfeit an encounter for them. “ Well they used to live the right way” or “ I know they will change when they go back to church or get in church”. We love to give excuses for things we know aren’t right. 

I love to give excuses, I’ve used these excuses but they were just that, EXCUSES, trying to keep myself away from realizing the truth.

 If your significant other isn’t living right you have to stop with the excuses and hand over those people at the feet of Jesus. You have to lay down the person you thought you could be with forever. You have to lay down your Isaac. Isaac was the son of Abraham, the promise God had given him. When you’re laying down the thing that you think/know God has given you-you will find out the truth behind that relationship by putting your trust not into yourself or into the other person but into God. God isn’t going to take away something that is right and He won’t give you something that won’t be good.  God knows the desires of our hearts, He knows what we desire, what we pray for but the things we think are “good” might not be good for us. God is a good God and He will work everything together for our good. 

When I look back on my life in the future I will look back on decisions that I have made that I will regret but I don’t want to look back on marriage with a “coulda, shoulda, woulda” attitude. I don’t want my children to see the results of a mediocre love or a love that didn’t have a foundation in the Lord. I don’t want to see my future daughter lower her standard as a result of me lowering mine. We are children of the King and we are princes and princesses, we weren’t made to have anything but a “happily ever after.” 

If you’re single, don’t settle. If you are dating, don’t settle. If you are married, don’t settle. Whatever state you are in you don’t deserve anything less than God’s best. Lay it at His feet, seek Him, pray, and let God work and reveal.