Aaahh the joys of relationships! You like him and he likes you, so you both exchange numbers and begin to get to know each other. You find out that he likes the same music and books as you do. He also is interested in museums and plays. He wants to wait for marriage (because purity is important) and he has a purity ring to show. You believe that he is the one.
The most important thing is his love for Jesus.
Both of you want to live the life that God has planned for your lives and deep down inside want each other to be apart of it. The time that you all have spent talking on the phone has increased to everyday and neither one of you cannot imagine living without one another. You tell your friends and even your parents about this special person that God has brought into your life and you can't wait for them to meet.
Finally the moment that you have been waiting for and dreaming about, the relationship has moved into dating. You tell all your friends and even change your relationship status on Facebook because that means that it's official. Everyone is happy for you and you are happy as well. The relationship is going great! First month has flown by and before you know it, it's been 8 months of dating. You are at the point of dreaming about marrying him. You have your board on Pinterest to show it. Every Monday, he's your #MCM and every Wednesday you're his #WCW. The relationship is wonderful and both of you believe that this is all God sent.
After a couple of months you notice a change.
The conversations are getting shorter. You go from talking everyday, to every other day, to once a week. You try not to stress over it because you both have lives outside of the relationship. There's school, work, family and etc.
It's not good to be so wrapped up in a person that they consume every part of your life.
It's not healthy either. Then you notice that when there is a conversation it is short and through text message instead of talking on the phone like it was before. You bring it up and it's not a big deal to him so you tell yourself again not to stress. You both have a talk one night about the changes that you see in the relationship and it turns into an argument. You both go to bed without the situation resolved. The next morning you text to see if everything is all right and he says "I don't want to be in a relationship anymore."
Your heart sinks to your stomach and you ask "why?" He states that he isn't happy and hasn't been happy for a while. He's going through some things and wants to be alone. You do all that you can to talk to him to work things out but he wants out, so you let him go.
You never thought that this would happen. You all were so happy together. Questions begin to run through your mind. "How could he breakup with me and through a text message?" You were so sure that God told you that he was your husband. You heard Him say it so why is it over? Why is he messing everything up?
Breakups are a part of life and they are not easy. Everyone has gone through a breakup or knows someone that is going through one. Many times, I have noticed that people in the church are a little bit clueless when it comes to relationships. Many people assume that the person that they are dating will lead to marriage but that's not the case for everyone.
All Christian relationships do not lead to marriage. It hurts but it's the truth. Being a Christian does not exclude us from life. We have troubles and issues like the next person. We are human. There are some people that believe that they will meet someone at church camp, build a friendship, start dating and then get married. That may be the life for some people but it's not for everyone. One of the major things that I have learned when I was going through a breakup is that God is sovereign. He knows all and He sees all. No matter what happens, God is in control so it's only right to lean on Him. There are all types of emotions that follow after a breakup (confusion, anger, frustration, sorrow etc.)
It's okay to feel those emotions but don't depend on them. Take those frustrations to God. Take that anger and sorrow to God. Tell God what's on your heart because He already knows. It will be like therapy session or a release for you because you're being real with yourself. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) You might not understand why the relationship ended but God does. You might not get the answer right away but be encouraged because a close door from God is a blessing. God could have been protecting you from a situation that would have certainly changed your future.
This may sound cliché but while facing a break up, depend on God even more. Pray more, study His Word more, fast, spend time with family and friends, go walking, try a cooking class, travel and more. The time that you spent with them can be used for God. You can be upset and cry but don't let emotions cause you to do something that you will regret. That's why it's important to spend time with God and not be alone.
Yes, breakups are hard but the good news is that God is sovereign. Trust in Him.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" - Proverbs 3:5
God loves you and He is looking out for you. Yes, breakups are hard and something that Christians will face but the good news is that God wouldn't have ended it if He didn't have a reason to.
Written by Amanda George
Bio: My name is Amanda George and I'm from Beaumont, Texas. I am one of the founders of Project: One Accord, which is an organization that focuses on Community, Diversity and Unity. I'm currently in my senior year of seminary majoring in Biblical Studies at Grand Canyon University. If I'm not studying then I'm playing with my dogs, painting, listening to music, writing, or watching Reba.